Pulling the Puzzles Apart
by BackwardsMuffin
Summary: It's barely a whisper. Kurt can scarcely make it out as the other shout still rings in his ears. But it's there. And then Blaine crumbles


**A/N: Inspired by an absolutely stunning AU gif-set by Sara Rye over on tumblr. Check her out, she is a goddess.**

**Lyrics from Coldplay's- The Scientist. Surprise surprise.**

* * *

_"__Questions of science, science and progress_

_Do not speak as loud as my heart"_

* * *

**AU - In which, after months of treatment, the doctors finally reveal that Kurt's cancer in incurable. **

* * *

'I knew I'd find you here.' Kurt says; his hands tucked away into the pockets of his jeans. He stares out over the stage, seeing Blaine clinging to the old lamppost prop in the centre; his forehead resting on clenched fists as his feet scuff and kick at the floor.

The theatre lights are off at this time of night. The stage Kurt had become so intimately acquainted with over his last few years performing there, no longer holding the magic it once did. Now it seems more like a ghost town – dusty and empty and full of unwanted echoes.

Blaine doesn't look at him. Doesn't even acknowledge his presence. He just stands there, up against the prop like he wants to either beat it to the ground or wash it away with his tears.

He's not crying though.

Kurt can't hear sobs.

All he can hear is slow, uneven breathing and the roughness of loafers grating against the worn wooden stage.

His heart stutters and he holds his breath, hoping to hear anything, anything that could break this ear splitting repetition – to give some semblance of life or emotion other than the drawing in of breath. What he gets doesn't make him feel any better.

* * *

'How can they do that?' Blaine says; his eyes clenched shut. 'How can they just give up like that, huh? He spins around, one hand dragging down his face the other still clenched tight. He groans, his throat sounding raw and ragged, like it would hurt to even inhale. 'Like it's nothing - Like _you're _nothing. I can't-' He lets out an infuriated scream and slams his foot into the lamppost. A metallic boom ricochets around the stage, and Kurt flinches.

Blaine's facing Kurt now, his eyes wide and red – but not wet. There are no tears to be seen; just a pure, unadulterated rage. The kind Kurt hasn't seen in him for years. It's almost terrifying to see it return like this; especially now. Those emotions that Blaine has kept locked away for so long tearing through his body like bullets out a gun. Kurt can almost sense them rippling through the other man. He doesn't know what to do. Throughout this process Blaine has been brave, so, so braze. Kurt supposes that it's finally become too much.

* * *

'They aren't giving up' Kurt says, taking a step forwards – out of the wings and onto the stage. He can see the audience now – well, the empty seats where the audience would be sitting. He wants to calm Blaine down, to make him stop and tell him that everything will be alright. But he can't. Everything won't be alright, and he's not about to lie to the most important person in his life.

'They did everything they could, Blaine. Honestly-'

Blaine slams his foot against the ground with an ear splitting bang. A little dust flakes away from the curtains just behind Kurt and he catches it spinning from the corner of his eye.

_'Well they didn't do enough!'_

.

Nothing

.

Blaine's scream echoes around the room for what seems like hours. His eyes are wide and Kurt can see them almost flaming in the darkness. Alight with complete and utter rage.

But then the fire flickers – Blaine blinks – and it's gone.

'They didn't do enough...'

It's barely a whisper. Kurt can scarcely make it out as the other shout still rings in his ears. But it's there.

And then Blaine crumbles.

* * *

Kurt rushes over to him; his shoes clacking furiously on the wood as he goes.

Blaine's on the floor, his entire body curled up into a ball. His head on his knees and his hands splayed by his ears, clutching the sides of his head as if he's afraid his skull will fall apart if he lets go.

Kurt falls to his knees beside Blaine, wrapping the younger man up in his arms and pulling him close. Blaine doesn't move from his position, but suddenly Kurt can hear the gasping and the choked sobs that mean the tears have finally erupted and that this beautiful, beautiful man has finally broken.

'They...they didn't do enough...and I...I'm gonna lose your Kurt...you're...you're gonna die and-' Blaine lets out another choked scream. Loud and shrill and ear splitting.

'No sweetie, no...' Kurt coos, trying to comfort the man he loves so very, very much. 'You aren't gonna lose me, not yet. I'm holding on for you Blaine.'

* * *

There are several minutes of speechlessness as one man struggles to catch his breath and the other struggles to find words. They just sit, wrapped up in each other like they are one, and cling desperatly - anchoring themselves.

Everything sees wrong, twisted, dream like, except at the same time, so very, heartbreakingly real that its hard to even understand without driving yourself to insanity. The end is so inevitable...yet neither can actually comprehend it in themselves. Frantically searching for something, anything, stuffed away in the corners of their minds that will somehow make this a mistake, incorrect, a fault; that will turn it around and make it not so...but it's no good...and they still know that.

* * *

'You said-' Blaine sniffs. 'You said you'd never say goodbye to me, Kurt. I still remember...all these years, and I still do. Like it was yesterday.'

'I know, sweetie. I know' Kurt murmurs into Blaine's hair. And he does. He's heard him, every night, repeating the line over and over in his dreams – it's been becoming more and more meaningful over the years as different hardships came along; but now...now those few words suddenly mean everything.

Blaine's hand is wrapped around Kurt's in a death grip. He trembles and shakes and struggles to catch his breath but Kurt just holds him tighter – cradles the man to his chest and slowly rocks his back and forth as his tears soak into the soft fabric of Kurt's shirt.

It is a while before Blaine speaks again.

His grip slightly loosens within Kurt's and the older man releases his own hold to let Blaine pull his hand away. He doesn't. Instead he moves his hand around, toying with each of Kurt's fingers until he comes to the left ring finger – upon which sits the most dazzling band Blaine could find.

'We were meant to get married.' He says, his lower lip trembling as he spins the band round. There is friction beneath it, and Kurt just catches a hiss at the burn of the movement. He hasn't taken the ring off since the day it was put on.

'We still can sweetie.' Kurt says; resting his other palm over Blaine's to stop them mans toying. Blaine gives the ring a squeeze, and stops. 'There's nothing to stop us – I have my ring, you have yours. Nothing's stopping us.'

'3 months, Kurt.' Is what Blaine replies. '3 months. I heard what the doctor said and I can see it in you now. You're weaker than ever, you're pail and trembling and some days you can't even get out of bed.'

'Gee, way to make a guy feel good.' Kurt says, nudging Blaine with his elbow, trying to inject some light heartedness into the situation.

It doesn't work.

'Don't you get it Kurt?' Blaine says, one hand coming up to cup Kurt's cheek, his thumb caressing the smooth skin. 'How am I meant to go on without you...how-' He gasps and Kurt's hand goes immediately to rub at Blaine's back. 'How...am I...you promised...we said forever Kurt! This doesn't seem like forever.'

Kurt doesn't think he's ever seen Blaine like this. It breaks his heart over and over again and he knows nothing he says will make it better.

'You'll find love again when I'm gone, baby. I know you wi-'

'Don't say that.' Blaine hisses; pulling back suddenly, but finding himself caught in Kurts embrace. 'Don't you _dare_ say that! How can you...how can you even suggest that, Kurt.'

'Because it's true honey.' Kurt strokes Blaine's hair as he speaks; trying to hold back his own tears. 'It's hurts me because I wish it could be _me _you spend your life with...but you'll find someone else.'

'You promised me forever Kurt.' Blaine says, glancing up to look Kurt dead in the eye. Those deep pools of hazel are shining like stars. Kurt can see the tears pooling in the corners and spilling down in continuous waterfalls, and he moves his thumb across Blaine's cheeks to rub them away. 'You promised...'

'I meant forever Blaine. I will love you for the rest of _my _forever and for the rest of _eternity_ after that. You are the most amazing, caring and wonderful man I have ever met. You are talented, charming and beautiful. I have no idea how I managed to snatch you up...but I know that I have to let you go as well. It's not fair for me to keep you all for myself. Not when I'm not there to have you in person. I can't – I won't do that.'

'Kurt' Blaine says in a broken whisper. 'No-'

'Now I want you to promise me Blaine.' Kurt says; struggling to keep his voice steady. 'Promise me.'

'No Kurt...please.'

'Promise me that when I'm gone...you'll move on.'

There are tears streaming down both men's faces as they cling desperately to one another. Blaine's head is in the crook of Kurt's neck; his arms wrapped around the man's waist and Kurt rests his own head on Blaine's; fingers tangled in his mess of dark hair.

'We've got to make the most of everything while I'm still here...but baby, we both know that life has to go on after that.'

Blaine shakes his head as much as he can, considering the restricted space. Words like 'no', 'please' and 'I can't' are repeated like a mantra into his fiancés shoulder and his fingers clench so tightly into the back of Kurt's shirt that he's almost positive he's torn the fabric.

'You deserve everything Blaine.' Kurt continues, and Blaine just sobs harder. 'And soon I won't be around to give you that.'

'Don't Kurt. Please don't-'

Kurt lifts his head away from Blaine's and tilts the other mans jaw up, eyes scanning over his face as he tries speak. 'Blaine. I'm struggling here too. Please, please try and understand.' Kurt is near begging at this point; his voice rough and croaky but still so very beautiful. 'I can't stand to think of you hurting Blaine. And my heart breaks every freaking day, thinking about what you'll have to go through when I'm gone. I remember how I felt before we met, and when I was here in the city and you were still in Ohio and God, it was awful...so, _so_ dreadful...and I would do anything to stop that happening to you again...but I _can't. _I can't and it _kills _me...'

Kurt leans forward and presses a desperate kiss to Blaine's lips. It is clumsy and sticky with salt from their combined tears, but it is passionate and Kurt hopes that Blaine can at least feel some of what he's feeling through it.

Kurt pulls back and stares dead on at Blaine, his eyes flickering. 'One day...someone will come along, and they will fall in love with you Blaine...because come on-' Here, Kurt lets out a small bittersweet laugh. '-who wouldn't?'

Blaine tries to smile, but he's biting his lips.

'You need to give them a chance Blaine. Please...for me...because I don't want you to be alone. I want you to have someone to love and who'll love you in return. Because that is what you _deserve'_

Blaine is just nodding at this point, and Kurt isn't sure if it's because he is agreeing with him or because he just doesn't know what else to do. He's not sure if he minds.

'But honey...no matter what ok. I'll still be there.' Kurt reaches down and does what Blaine did for him all those years ago.

'_Give me your hand.'_

He keeps on nodding and gently presses his palm down into Kurt's, who immediately closes his fingers around it and shakes it, ever so slightly.

'Now...hold it to your heart.'

'Just like the song?' Blaine questions, the corners of his lips twitching up as the tears still flow. He lets Kurt move their entwined hands so they are pressed to his chest and he sucks in a deep breath and just...is.

'Like the song.' Kurt agrees and he swoops in for another brief kiss.

Kurt presses their foreheads together, and when they stop kissing they barely separate.

'No matter what Blaine... for the rest of forever, I will always be right here, in your heart.'

A stuttered exhale leaves the younger man and Kurt swears he hears a mutterd _'so cheesy' _and he just wants to hold Blaine tight and never let go, but he has to.

'I love you so, so much. And nothing could keep my love from you. So just...remember me...remember this, ok? And you'll be alright. I promise Blaine, you'll be alright.'

* * *

Blaine wants so badly to believe him. He really, really does.

But somehow...he knows that in a life without Kurt, he'll never truly be alright.

So he just holds on a little tighter, cries a little harder, and kisses a little deeper; knowing that soon, memories of this will be all he has left.

* * *

_Nobody said it was easy_

_No one ever said it would be this hard_

_..._

_Oh take me back to the start._

* * *

They get married 5 weeks from then - stood in the open air of Central Park - just the closest friends and family present. Kurt has his oxygen tank just to his side and is so heavily drugged that Blaine worries he may forget his vows. But ever the performer, Kurt gets them spot on.

The 14 guests say it was one of the most beautiful days of their lives. Every one of their tear lined faces proves it so.

* * *

3 months, 2 weeks and 6 days later, Kurt passes away in their shared apartment. Blaine doesn't cry. He just silently leans across his husbands sleep-like form and removes the morphine drip from his wrist, before shakily dialing 911.

Blaine can't really think of anything to say once he hangs up. So he clings to Kurt's hand, and gently hums the last few lines to another of their songs.

* * *

_Blow the candles out_

_Looks like a solo tonight_

_..._

_But i think i'll be alright._

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading. **

**I apologise for my absence for the web. It's been a while.**

_~In remembrance of both my grandfather, and recently my uncle – who both passed away during the last few months after complications with cancer~_


End file.
